Dave Larson: Hey, Ruth. I know you’re busy and all with your move, but I thought I’d give a friendly reminder that you made this cover for Forever Yours. Personally, I think the story is worth writing. You can’t go wrong with a cowboy on the cover, and of course, any book featuring Mary is going to be a good one, especially since you’re such a great writer and all.
Ruth: Wow, Dave. Last time we talked, you and I were engaged in a lawsuit.
Dave: LOL Those were such good times. We had so many great memories.
Ruth: I can’t help but think it’s funny that you’re buttering me up to write another book featuring you after all this time.
Dave: I’m not buttering you up. I care deeply about you. You’re my author.
Ruth: You tried to organize a boycott on all of my books.
Dave: All of it was done out of fun. We both knew no one was going to boycott your books. Your books are awesome.
Dave: That title makes no sense. Shouldn’t it be His Abducted Runaway Bride?
Mark: You’re an idiot. Those are two separate books.
Dave: Maybe if you took the time to put the titles in italics, it wouldn’t have been confusing. I put Forever Yours in italics because it’s the title of a book. Now who’s the idiot?
Mark: Look, I heard about you. You think the world revolves around you. Well, I can tell you from experience that you’re just one tiny character on Earth. There are many characters, and some of them are from another planet. Whether or not another book is written about you doesn’t matter because in the whole scheme of things, these books will all fade away into oblivion. That means in a hundred years, no one will know or care that you were ever in a book.
Dave: *rolls his eyes* You wish. Ruth is writing timeless romantic tales. Ruth, why are you even wasting time writing about Mark? He doesn’t even think your books will pass the test of time.
Mark: Unlike you, I don’t care if I’m immortal on the pages of a book. I just want to be with Lexie. If you came from a world without women, you’d understand.
Dave: I don’t need to go to a planet without women to understand how much better my life is with Mary. But this whole thing is bigger than me or you. It’s about immortalizing Ruth’s books. Don’t worry, Ruth. I’m on your side.
Perry Ambrose (Lord Clement): What Ruth should do is pay attention to who is getting the most requests. A lot of people have been asking if I’ll ever get my own book, and quite frankly after losing my potential wife to another gentleman in The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife and A Most Unsuitable Earl, I think it’s time I finally got married. Do you know how frustrating it is to be so close to getting paired up with a lady only to find out she is going to another gentleman instead?
Mark: You think that’s rough? I was introduced in another guy’s book, and he ended up happily married. Me? I was ready to be dropped because Ruth decided not to write the book. Because people wanted to see me with Lexie, Ruth decided to write my book, and now that she’s finally doing it, I won’t let anyone stop her.
Dave: Oh please. It’s not how many requests you get for your story to be written. It’s how much fan mail you get for the books you’ve done, and I have the most fan mail of any character Ruth’s ever written. It’s because of me people even know who Ruth is. Eye of the Beholder was the book that launched her career.
Perry: Actually, An Inconvenient Marriage has done way better, and it still does. So if there’s a book that launched her career, it’d be that one, not yours.
Dave: And yet, Jake Mitchell rarely receives a fan letter. I get them all the time.
Mark: All the time?
Dave: Yes. I’m popular.
Perry: Somehow I doubt you’re that popular. I bet if your brothers were here, they’d set the record straight.
Dave: If they deny how popular I am, it’s because they’re jealous. I can’t help it if I happened to be at the train station when Mary arrived in Omaha. Had it been any of them, they could have been the most popular Larson ever written.
Mark: Yeah. Lucky for you, you run out of food and have to make a mad dash into town to the mercantile.
Perry: *snickers* So Dave’s saying it pays to procrastinate.
Dave: Haha. I guess if procrastination yields such great results, you both will do just fine with getting a wife since it’s taking you so long to get one.
Ruth: Alright, guys. Break it up. Right now I’m working on Runaway Bride and His Abducted Bride. I have no idea when I’ll get to Forever Yours or Perry’s book. I guess you all will have to give me ideas. The sooner I get inspired, the sooner books get written. :D*Pictures were bought off of http://www.dreamstime.com. First picture © Yuri Arcurs (I used GIMP to add the book cover I made). Second picture © Gabriel Blaj. Third picture © Serrnovik.